Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
by Spongecatdog
Summary: This wasn't healthy at all. But then again, Zacharie was never one to be good to himself in the first place, so why start after one of his only friends die?


**A/N: Ahaha wow this ended up really deep and depressing and _can I write one happy thing for once please_**

**Anyways~, hope you enjoy~. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own OFF or any of its characters. Just in case you didn't know. Just a friendly reminder. Yup. Woo.**

* * *

When Zacharie came across Sugar's dead body, he can't say he was surprised. Hurt, yes. He would even go as far as to say _sad_. But really and truly surprised? No. Sugar could never have passed through any of the Zones, which is why she hid in Zone 0. It was inevitable that a wayward spirit would kill her at some point or another. Zacharie didn't know how a spirit got there, or even why it was so brutal. All he knew is that one of the only people who could see behind his 'mask' was gone. He didn't know how to feel about that if he was honest. But then again, he never really was honest in the first place, so why start now?

Her burial was a simple one. There wasn't much to do with her body. He couldn't bury it with the ground as it was, and Zacharie refused to let her body be turned into sugar and eaten by those who were doomed to live on in boring everyday life until they too died and became food themselves. The pieces of his humanity that he still had were disgusted by the idea. Zacharie finally settled with putting her body on a stray duckling boat and sending it off of the plastic filled waters. It would almost be peaceful if he didn't know that monsters that hid in its waters were going to eat her at some point. But, it was the best he could do for her, even if it wasn't much. Zacharie turned and walked away. He had a job to do.

* * *

The first time he sees The Batter again, he doesn't mention Sugar's death. Zacharie thinks that the 'purifying' man knows something is up though despite his 'mask' being on and hiding his true emotions. Zacharie chuckled lowly, causing the baseball carrying man to look up from Zacharie's stocks with a raised eyebrow. Zacharie waved him off with a careless hand. "It's nothing, mi amigo. I'm just thinking about things." The Batter didn't ask, so Zacharie didn't answer.

The second time he sees The Batter, things end differently. Instead of letting The Batter walk away, Zacharie grabs his arm. He could feel the muscles tense up under his touch. God, he missed contact. Sugar was the only one he would ever even get close to, and without her...Well, put simply, he hasn't touched anyone at all. "Please wait, mi amigo. I think I may have something else that might interest you." The Batter raised an eyebrow. "I have already bought all that I need merchant. What else could I possibly need?"

God, Zacharie hated this feeling of helplessness. He despised this human need to have any affection or touch at all. It was a disgusting need that begged him to fill.

"You...must be lonely these days, si? Without your la Reine belle, you must not get much human contact. It must get lonely. I can help with that." What would Sugar think of him now, resorting to such low things to touch people again? He clenched the fist still hidden behind the counter. If Zacharie thought about her anymore, his mask might slip. That was the last thing he needed to do in front of a man that would kill him in a second if he was deemed 'impure'. Then again, who is to say that wasn't what Zacharie wanted. Did Zacharie even know what he wanted anymore? no, he decided. He stopped knowing what he wanted the moment he saw Sugar's red blood splattering across the floor in a twisted picture of beauty.

It was silent for a few minutes after Zacharie spoke. Zacharie figured it was The Batter waiting for the punch line that would never come. The Batter breathed in a deep breath and spoke in a low voice. "And tell me, merchant, what on Earth would you want in exchange? I don't believe I have ever had a deal with you that didn't cost anything. Name your cost." Zacharie smiled a bittersweet smile behind his mask. "Ah, nothing really, mon ami. Just some distance from...troubling things. You understand, si?" The Batter nodded. Zacharie tilted his head to the side. "Shall we?" The Batter gave another nod. Zacharie chuckled and led the other around the counter to one of his many hidden rooms.

Needless to say, Zacharie forgot his woes for one night and replaced them with wanton sighs and pleasured moans. He couldn't get away from the feeling of dirtiness at the end of it all

* * *

They keep doing it every time they meet. The third, fourth, and fifth times all blend together. It wasn't until the sixth time that The Batter started asking him questions. They did their usual routine and buying and selling things. The Batter made low grunts, and Zacharie made witty retorts. They were like clockwork. It annoyed Zacharie to no end. Right before they did their now usual bit of Zacharie inviting The Batter into wherever he was holding up then, The Batter asked him a question that made him pause.

"Why are you doing this?"

Zacharie blinked. He didn't expect that. The puppet was defying his normal movements. How strange. Zacharie chuckled (Did The Batter think it was as fake as he did? He hoped not. That would lead to conversations he didn't care to have.). "I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific, mi amigo. For all I know, you could be referring to anything. You could be asking me why I'm being a merchant. Or maybe you're asking why I'm standing behind a counter? It could be anything." Of course, he knew what The Batter was referring to but if he could avoid that situation, he would try his best. The Batter gave him a dry look. "You know exactly what I mean, merchant."

"Why do you always call me merchant? And after all we've done together! One would think that we're very distant, mi amigo. It hurts me. Truly." Lies. All lies. Zacharie actually prefered the cold indifferent name. It led to less attraction and therefore less affection. Zacharie did not want anymore affection in his pathetic, lonely life. He didn't know if he could handle it if someone else he loved was killed (and they all would be, it was inevitable. The man in front of him proved that much). A look from The Batter got another chuckle out of him. "Alright, alright. Calm down, mi amigo. No need to lose your head. Why am I doing this…? To forget."

The Batter's eyebrows creased. "You have things you wish to forget?" God, if The Batter continued like this, Zacharie was going to be on the ground laughing. Instead, he chuckled again and responded. "Oui. Even lowly merchants like myself have things we would rather not remember." Flashes of red splattered on the ground went through his mind. "Things we would rather keep in a hidden box." He could see her broken face still smiling. Zacharie tilted his head to the side. "Food for the thought, I suppose."

"What would you want to forget?" Zacharie sent him a look despite knowing it would be hidden by his mask. What a curious little thing the marionette was today. Zacharie sighed and looked into the distance. "Sugary sweet girls with innocent minds if you must know." Zacharie turned back to face The Batter again. His voice was cheerful and amused again (when had it gotten low and depressing?). "Can I expect more payment today for the answers, mi amigo? As you said once, I don't give things away without a price." The Batter merely waited for Zacharie to do his usual routine of inviting him behind the counter. Ah, they were back to the regular motions again. Back to being clockwork.

* * *

It becomes a regular thing. The pants in his ear, the upward hip thrusts, the sweet pleasure he would get from different stimulations at once. If Zacharie was truthful, he would admit that it would be strange if The Batter and he simply laid there and talked without anything else. But Zacharie was not truthful, so no one would know anything about his thoughts other than the skim surface of what he puts up as a mask. He has almost become addicted to it. Zacharie hates those thoughts, so he focuses on the feeling on something inside of him instead. He pays more attention to the warm, carnal movement than the thoughts that haunted him ever since he found Sugar, no, Sugar's body. Because even if it all filled him with disgust, it kept him warm inside if only barely.

When the words "He killed her" came out of Pablo's mouth, that tiny flame still flickering inside of Zacharie went out.

The merchant froze in place and stared at the cat behind his mask. When he finally remembered how to talk, how to think, _how to breathe_ again, he opened his mouth and croaked out a broken "What?" There was a beat of silence. "I mean, who killed who?" Zacharie knew. Or rather, he knew, but he didn't want to believe it. It didn't take much to figure out who The Judge was referring to.

"The Batter. He is the one who killed Sugar."

All at once, Zacharie's air leaves him. He can't breathe. He just sits there next to Pablo frozen. Slowly, he begins to reanimate himself, to make himself look okay, even when he most definitely was _not okay_. The urge to put up a mask was too strong to ignore.

"Ah, is that who did it? I've been wondering who it was... Merci, Pablo."

The cat was watching him through the corner of his eyes. The look Pablo was giving him made the merchant feel like he was being judged. 'How ironic.' He mused. 'Although Pablo does hold that title for a reason.'

"You can talk to me about it if you wish. You were here for me when...I learned of what happened to Valerie. The least I can do is be here for you in your time of need. I know you and Sugar were quite close…" Pablo's voice trailed off. He spoke again. "She often spoke of you, you know. She liked to talk to me about you when I was around Zone 0." Zacharie felt like something was sitting on his chest. "Oh? She liked to talk about you too, mon ami. She liked to talk to me about le chat petit." Zacharie didn't think he ever felt more grateful for the Toad King mask until this moment. It would be so much harder to hide his forlorn looks without it.

They sit there for a while after that, just staring up at the sky. That was one of the things Zacharie really liked about Pablo. He would listen if you wanted to talk, but only if you wanted to talk. The cat never pushed. And as Zacharie went through his muddled thoughts, he couldn't help but appreciate it. It had to be a few hours later when he finally stood up. At Pablo's questioning glance, Zacharie replied with a low chuckle. "The game is telling me that it is time to do my part." Zacharie began slowly walking off before pausing and turning around to face Pablo with a hidden thankful smile. "Thank you, Pablo. I enjoyed our time." Zacharie turned back around and resumed walking to where the game was telling him to go. He once again felt thankful for his mask as a solemn tear slid slowly down his cheek.

* * *

The next time The Batter and Zacharie met, nothing happened. Inwardly, Zacharie smirked at the tiny flickers of confusion on The Batter's face when he wasn't allowed behind the counter. Of course, no one else would have been able to see them, but then again, no one else is as good at making and looking through masks like Zacharie is. The man didn't say anything about it, but Zacharie wasn't really surprised by that. Zacharie turned to go back into one of his places to wait, but The Batter spoke before he could truly disappear again.

"Why do you never take your mask off, even when we have both done more than most people do together?"

Zacharie paused. A low chuckle filled the empty space.

"Why should I stop wearing my mask when you don't, mi amigo?"

Zacharie closed the door behind him before The Batter could say anything.

* * *

Zacharie knew the end was coming soon. Even if the game didn't tell him that, it was clear to see. The Zones were becoming blank wastelands. He could barely find any Elsen anywhere. The scent of death and sugar filled the air so thickly that he couldn't get smell out of his nose even with his mask blocking most of it. The Batter arriving near the OFF switch only strengthened his thoughts. Zacharie said his final(?) words to The Batter. He didn't turn around to watch the baseball carrying man go.

There were two ways this could go. No. To put it more bluntly,

There were two endings for this tragedy.

And Zacharie didn't know which ending of this game he wanted more.

* * *

Zacharie didn't have to look in the room to know who won. The last cry had told him who had lost the deadly battle. Despite this, he still had to go see. He had to _know_. So Zacharie walked into the room with a shuddering breath. The smell of iron was already overwhelming him. Zacharie would like to say that no tears began to drip out of his eyes when he saw Pablo's battered body on the ground. He would like to say that he looked on impassively at the blood drenched bat. But that would be a lie that Zacharie himself didn't know if he could pull off even with the best masks in the all of the Zones at his side.

The Batter glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you wish to challenge me as well?" Zacharie chuckled behind his mask. "No, mi amigo, I think I will pass. I am but a simple merchant. What would I have to gain from your death other than a world too lonely and despairing to bear?" Zacharie cast his blank gaze at the giant OFF switch on the wall. He knew what was going to happen. The game had planned it all out from the very start that this ending would happen. He drew in a deep breath before tilting his head towards The Batter. "Shall we dance our tango once more, mi amigo? For old time's sake?" The Batter stood silently. The urges to have some sort of contact before being turned OFF must have been affecting him as well, because The Batter walked towards him.

"I think The Player would be fine with holding off the mission for a little bit longer…"


End file.
